best laid plans

i had great designs on regular posting as i began residency and i was off to a good start. but i ended up taking a huge emotional blow in my second week and i had to withdraw into myself simply to get up and go to work. so i quit writing. i also quit reading and watching tv or really interacting. i survived by text message and meaningful looks. i also lost weight, though i think lacking appetite isn't the recommended method.

i am improving. every day is better. i am still hurting. i will hurt a little for a very very long time. but i have not been taken down by anything yet and if you know me, that IS saying something.

on the up and up...ER was a good rotation. a great way to start - a chance to remember my basic skills. thank goodness. now if people would just stop coming to the ER for non-emergent problems. and if the ER staff would learn that abdominal pain is not a catch all and certainly does not include pelvic pain. those are different.

i am glad i didn't choose ER as a career though. and i wonder about the FM trained docs who end up doing ER. what was so unsatisfying about FM - where the idea is to follow the pts forever - that you have to go all the way to ER where you don't follow pts even as far as the door.

now i am on to OB which would be great if i weren't suffering for the sins of those who came before. long story. lets just say i am walking uphill both ways in the snow. but i get to catch babies, so that's fun.